What It Should've Been: A CrillianDempeo fic
by Paddy is a Fetus
Summary: "AND THEN GOD SAID: "LET THERE BE LIGHT" AND THERE WAS LIGHT: PATRICK MET ELLEN" (and Chris met Jill but that's later on)
1. Chapter 1

"I'm home guys" said Patrick in an exhausted voice as he came in through the glass door. He had been doing a photo shoot with Ellen in New york and hadn't been home in a week. _At least, that's what he told me_**_,_ **she thought.  
Sullivan and Darby ran up to him while Talula lay on the couch not moving an inch with her new iphone inches away from her face, one direction music playing softly.  
"hey dad" she said, not bothering to look up. She had grown accustomed to her dad not being home and it broke Jill's heart to see her little girl growing into a young lady without her father being here to notice it. Tal was going through a rough time: being a heartthrob's daughter wasn't always easy. Especially now that she was a teenager and her friends had crushes on her "mc dreamy dad"  
_At least she has good skin,_ Jill thought.

"Hi Stella! Whats my princess been up too?" Chris grinned as he picked Stella up in his arms and spun her around. She giggled, her mother's giggle and her eyes lit up as he pointed to a new princess tiara he had picked up on his way home. She had been talking about it ever since they set foot in disney store 2 weeks ago. Her dedication was amazing for a 4 year old. _Jill is dedicated too,_ he thought._ Why are you thinking about Jill? Ellie's also super determined to get what she wan-_  
"Hi sweetie" Ellen interrupted his thoughts. She took Stella in her arms and kissed Chris quickly on the cheek. "How was your week?" She asked him.  
"Umm fine, nothing special.. I took Stella to the zoo, she really like the seals. Kept saying "I of" and clapping her hands imitating them on the drive home! Not so swaggy for a princess"  
He pulled his pants up and sat down at the kitchen table. Ellen gently put Stella in her special Cinderella seat and went to take the pizza out of the oven.  
"How was the photo-shoot?" Chris asked, though he knew how these photoshoots usually ended up; Patrick inviting Ellen to some posh gay bar and somehow never getting caught by the paps.  
How he managed to do this and why he did it was something Chris had never really quite understood.  
"It was fine, the weather wasn't so good tho. The photographer was nice. A bit pushy, but nice. We had to stay in the rain for a few hours, we were soak-OUCH F****"  
"Ellie! Stella's right here!"  
"Sorry, Ow, I just burned myself! It really hurt. Sorry Stella sweetie"  
"Its okay mommy, daddy says it all the time, I promise I won't repeat it at school"

"What do you think of coming on set with me today?" Patrick asked his kids as they finished breakfast. For once Jill had started work before him, and he knew they loved the trailer and hanging out with Ellen and Stella.

"Yeah dad!" Sullivan answered excitedly, he drank all his milk and stood up, going to put his shoes on  
"Will stella be there?" asked Darby shyly  
"I dont know Darby, I'll ask Ellen." He thought it was cute how his son was obviously having a small crush on Stella who was way more outgoing.

**From: Patty**  
**To: Ellie**  
**Bringing the twins on set today ! Darby wants to know if S will be there ? x**

**From: Ellie**  
**To: Patty**  
**Sure, bring them to my trailer in an hour? Cant wait to see them again!x**

When Ellen arrived on set with Stella, Patrick was already there playing with the boys. As soon as the twins saw Stella they both ran up to her and Darby gave her a quick hug. Patrick smiled at Ellen, held out his hand and she grabbed it, allowing him to lead the way to her trailer.  
"How's Jill?" She asked politely, though saying the woman's name always brought pain in her chest. She could've had Patrick if it weren't for her, she was sure of it. They had always felt something for each other. They both knew it, though they had never openly acknowledged it. They couldn't. For the sake of their families. Their kids.

Over the years, they had learned to live with it, enjoying the times they spent together but always yearning for more.  
"I made McDreamy" had said Jill once, at a red carpet event, talking about his hair. Oh! How Ellen had wanted to be there to contradict her. "you didn't make McDreamy bitch, I did. He wouldn't be here if it weren't for our amazing chemistry" but she hadn't said anything and she never would


	2. Chapter 2: OOPSI

"Im sorry guys, we're gonna need you both a little longer than I thought.. Is that ok with you?" Asked the director, obviously not caring wether it was ok with them or not. They both knew they had to.  
"Sure, I'll just have to call Jill to pick up Darby and Sul"  
"Yeah, I should text Chris for Stella"

**From Ellen**  
**To Chris**  
**Hey, need to stay on set longer, can u come pick up Stella?**

**From Chris**  
**To Ellen**  
**Im busy rn. I'll be home in 2 hours..**

"Shit he can't pick her up"  
-Oh, well, it's okay, I'm sure Jill wont mind taking her home and then bringing her to your house, patrick offered. Jillian was always complaining about being bored, and Stella was a sweetheart, she wouldn't mind.  
-Are you sure, God that would be great, thanks Pat" she kissed him quickly on the cheek and ran back to the makeup and hair department where they were impatiently waiting for her.

**From Ellen**  
**To Chris**  
**Its ok, jills taking her, she'll bring her home around 8PM**

***************************

Jillian arrived 15 minutes later and parked her Jeep. She walked up to the set and was surprised to see only a few people around. After all it was only 7PM, and she didnt see any members of the cast, not even Sandra. And Sandra was always there. Her two little boys suddenly appeared, running out of nowhere followed by Stella who was laughing hysterically behind them.

"Hey boys! How was your day? Hi Stella! How are you?" she asked sweetly  
"Hi Mrs Patty, I'm fine thanks!"  
"Where's your daddy?" Asked Jill to her smallest son.  
"He said he's there, but we cant go in cuz it's work stuff" answered Darby pointing to a door that said "Meredith and Derek's house"  
"Dont move I'll be back in a few minutes, ok sweeties?"  
"Ok mom"  
"Yep, Mrs Patty!"

Jill walked to the door, her high heels clicking on the wooden floor, and echoing in the empty space  
"Shit" said Patrick to Ellen as he heard the sound of the familiar heels "shit, shit, shit"  
"Whats the matter?" Asked Ellen, worrying at the sound of his panicky voice. She couldn't help giggle at his fail attempt of climbing out of the bath, slipping right behind her and falling back inside.  
"Oh shit" she cursed, as she heard the sound of Jill's voice talking to a crew member downstairs.  
"Hi, excuse me I'm looking for my husband, Patrick Dempsey, do you know where I could find him?"  
"Umm yeah, he's umm upstairs but he's kinda shooting right now so umm, I'm not sure you wanna go. I mean I'm not trying to intrude or anything but-"  
"Don't worry, thanks" she climbed up the stairs and stopped at the top. She saw the director and his assistant, talking and drinking coffee in their "directors chairs" but no other crew member. _Weird_, she thought, _they usually have so many people taking care of their hair. And where's the cute lighting guy? _she wondered as she knocked on a half opened door.  
"Come in" Patrick answered with a groan, knowing exactly who it was.  
She burst into the room but stopped short at the sight in front of her. Patrick and Ellen naked in the bath. Well ok not completely naked, they were both wearing skin colored bathing suits but still.. And Ellen was definitely topless.  
Yep, no bathing suit there. Though Patrick's hands were doing a pretty good job at covering them, she noticed. She was rendered speechless and couldn't move. She just stared at them for a solid two minutes with Patrick staring sheepishly back at her, trying to get up from underneath Ellen; the latter blushing profusely trying to hide her lady parts.  
"I.. Uh... I came to pick up the kids, I should... Uh leave you two.. Just do.. Work, whatever"  
"Jill, it's not-"  
"Yeah uh its fine.. I'll ... I'll just leave"

She ran down the stairs crossing the lighting guy, who smiled awkwardly at her, utterly confused as noticed her shocked face. "C'mon kids, we're leaving" the children followed her, still excited and completely unaware of her shaking and pale figure. She buckled them into their seats and drove to her house always staring straight ahead, not able to take the image of her almost-naked husband pressed against his topless costar. In a bath. With his hands on her breasts.

"Hey Tal, put your brothers to bed I'll be back soon. I have to bring Stella home" she asked, still thinking about Patrick and Ellen. _How long had it been going on? Do they do that sort of thing often?_  
"Mom are you okay?" She asked worriedly, noticing how her mother wasn't looking at her but kept a distant look in her eyes.  
"Im fine just tired, please make sure they fall asleep"  
"Yeah, of course mom, don't worry"


	3. Chapter 3: CRILLIAN ALERT HIHI

Jillian went back to the car with Stella in the back seat telling her about the princess tiara her daddy had bought her the night before. Jill answered with vague yes's and tried to sound interested but she was way too flustered to listen intently to what the little girl was saying. It wasn't a Meredith/Derek thing. He was clearly feeling Ellen up in the middle of their shooting break. And there were distinguished red hickeys on her neck, right underneath her ear. What would've happened if she hadn't walked in? She tried to shake off the image out of her head as she arrived to Stella's house, the little girl sound asleep in the backseat. When had she stopped talking? Jill felt guilty for not noticing. Chris appeared on the doorstep and walked to the car taking his daughter gently in his arm and smiling at Jill "Thank you so much! Hey, come in, I'll tuck Stella in bed and be back in just a minute, make yourself comfortable. There's wine in the fridge"

She didn't want to stay but wine, well wine felt inviting, she really needed to drown her worries. She especially didn't want to come home to pics of Patrick and her, when he was taking a bath with his costar. And obviously enjoying it a lot more than he was paid to.

"Hey, are you okay?" Chris asked sitting next to her on the living-room couch. A tear was falling down her cheek. She hadn't even noticed, she was to busy pouring wine into her glass for the 8th time in 2 minutes. He sat there, not knowing what to do. They were close; being the unknown spouses of worldreknowned celebrities does that to you. But still, they weren't come-on-cry-on-my-shoulder close.  
"What happened?" He asked again. "You can drink from the bottle you know, its fine, you'll empty it anyway" he tried not to laugh as he saw her struggling with her half emptied glass.  
She grabbed the bottle and starting gulping down all the wine. Then she started crying. Her sobs were so strong she started shaking. Chris took her into his arms in an attempt at calming her down..  
"Ssh its fine, it's ok"  
"I'm sorry" she cried in a small voice as she tried to recompose herself.  
"It's fine, just tell me what happened"  
"You don't want to know.."  
"I do, really" his voice grew with concern. They might not have been close friends, but the ten years he had spent knowing her had caused them to bond somehow and he had always wanted to know her better.  
"It's just, it's stupid.. They've been doing the same thing for ten years.. It's just.. I never saw them..actually.. only on screen"  
_Oh.. so it's about Ellen and Patrick. I know they spend their days flirting but.. Has Jill walked in on them.. Doing it? _wondered Chris  
"I mean they weren't doing anything wrong.. Technically.."  
_Oh, well that can't be it then, thank god_, he thought  
"But he was still ya know, touching her, and I.."  
"Shit what was he doing to my Ellie, Jill?" Anger was building up in his voice, but he tried to remain calm for Jill's sake. She had obviously had a rough day, and getting mad at her wouldn't solve anything. She hadn't done anything wrong, unlike that bastard Patrick.  
"Nothing..only it was a bath scene.."  
_Awesome, the bath scenes._ He thought Shonda had decided to stop these. _For god's sakes, they hadn't even had a scene together in the last episode! How did she go from that to a frickin bath scene?_

"I can't believe this!" He snapped, standing up and ruffling his hair  
Jill despised when Patrick did that, sticking his hair up in different directions. But for Chris it was different. His hair stayed perfectly still as he paced the floor angrily.  
"I.. I should go... Tal will be waiting"  
"Oh. Yeah, of course. Sorry " he turned around to face her and grabbed her coat. He helped gently into it, their hands brushing slightly, causing both of them to shiver at the small storm going on in their hearts caused by their touch.  
_What was that?_ Jill wondered. She looked up at Chris and knew by his worried expression that he had felt it too.  
"Bye thanks" she said, suddenly understanding what it meant and she hurried in quick paces back to her car.  
"Bye" he said, barely audibly as she turned in the ignition to her car.


	4. Chapter 4 THEY ARE IN DEEP POOP

"I, what should I do?" Patrick worriedly asked the petrified figure lying right above him in the cold bath.  
"SHE SAW MY BOOBS" Ellen answered in a terrified voice  
"Ellen, it's-"  
"SHE SAW MY BOOBS. YOUR WIFE SAW MY BOOBS. AND YOU WERE TOUCHING THEM. YOUR WIFE SAW YOU TOUCHING MY NAKED BOOBS"  
Patrick tried to stop himself from laughing. Here he was in one of the most tricky situations he had ever been in and Ellen was freaking out about the fact that Jill had seen her boobs.  
"They're awesome boobs" he mumbled under his breath. Unfortunately for him, Ellen heard every single word.  
"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?" She tried to get off him, causing the man to burst into laughter but she slipped and fell back onto him.  
"OUCH ELLEN THAT WAS MY-OW"  
"Yeah well you deserved that. Asshole" she couldn't help but start giggling at his pained face accompanied by pleading eyes and he quickly forgot his well-deserved torture as he laughed along with her.

"Guys, sorry to interrupt but we managed to get the right shot. You can leave now if you want. Oh and Patrick, Ryan said he saw Jill in the stairs. He thought she looked a bit strange, maybe you should check if everything's ok?"  
"Yeah thanks Pete. He turned to Ellen, both of their laughter had completely died out. She got up and out of the bath as he tried to keep his eyes off her perfect body.  
_It's not the time, Patrick,_ he thought _Jill's already pissed enough as it is_  
Ellen turned around and caught him studying her body. She rolled her eyes and handed him a clean towel. "Here ya go, my dirty ol' man"


	5. Chapter 5 UHOH JILLICK

"Hi T, how are you honey?" Patrick asked as he entered his living room, threw his keys on the wooden table and headed to the kitchen to grab a beer. He was relieved to see his wife wasn't there, he needed a few minutes before he could confront her.  
_This is totally something Derek would do, _he thought,_ drown his trouble in beer_  
"Hmm, I'm fine" Talula answered vaguely, not paying any attention to her father but staring at the huge TV.  
"What are you watching?" He planted a kiss on the top of her long blond hair and sat down next to her on the leather couch. Jill had bought it a few years back and refused to change it when he had complained about it taking up way more space then necessary. _who needs such a big couch? _he wondered.  
"The VMAs. Dad, please dont talk, One Direction are coming on soon."  
"Oh, well okay, if One Direction is more interesting than your awesome dad then ok"  
"Ssshh OMG ITS THEM DAD!"  
"Who's the curly haired one? He looks kinda like me"  
"DAD OMG THATS HARRY BUT HAVE YOU SEEN NIALL HES GOT LILAC HAIR OMG DAD U DONT GET IT. ITS LILAC! HES SO CUTE WOW OMG I HAVE TO TEXT JAMIE SHE MUST BE FREAKING OUT. NIALL'S HER FAVORITE OMG"  
Patrick finished his bottle of beer and stood up reluctantly. He knew he had to go see Jill now, or she would kill him.  
"Do you know where your mom is?"  
"Umm yeah she went upstairs like 20 minutes ago.. BUT OMG DID U SEE WHAT ZAYN JUST DID I CANT BREATHE THAT WAS SO CUTE !"  
"Ok thanks, try to keep the volume down or you'll wake your brothers. Good night Tal, I love you"  
"Good night dad, love you too"  
He headed towards the stairs scared at what he would have to deal with. He definitely didn't wanna fight tonight. He was exhausted and needed to sleep.  
"Oh and dad"  
"Yeah?"  
"Well, Mom seemed kinda weird when she came home earlier. I don't know if she was sad or mad but she didn't look completely ok.."  
"Thanks Tal, I'll see what I can do" he said with a reassuring smile. He turned back to face the stairs and took a deep breath as he pushed the door to his bedroom open.

"Hi" he said awkwardly standing next to the door.  
She looked up from her "Vogue" magazine and took off her glasses.  
"Hi" she answered in a small voice.  
She was lying on her side of the bed and he walked over to her. "Look, about earlier, I.."  
"Its normal it's your job" she snapped , sounding a lot colder than she meant to  
He gently took off his shoes, got into a pair of pj's and lay down next to her. Only then did he really look at Jill.  
"Hey, are you ok?" He said as he realized from her puffy red eyes that she had been crying. He put his hand on her arm but she shook him off. "Are you serious? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" She tossed the sheets to the side and quickly got out of bed and turned to face him "YOU'RE PRACTICALLY FUCKING YOUR COSTAR IN BETWEEN SHOTS OF COURSE IM FINE!"  
Patrick stared at her in shock and came up with the worst answer he could've thought of.  
"Jill it's nothing, it's really it's just Ellen we do that all the time, it's no biggie" he regretted his words as soon as they left his mouth and he bit his lip in shame.  
"Oh" she snorted "Is that supposed to make me feel better? "I spend all my free time in a bath with Ellen" Oh well great, Patrick! I'm glad you have fun like that at work!"  
"I didn't mean that, you know I didn't mean that. We're just friends! We just play that's all"  
"Oh well that sounds innocent, "we just play" Patrick you're a fucking grown up, we've already been through this! I thought we were good on the Ellen subject!" She cried, hating him with every inch of her body.  
"Oh so there's an Ellen subject now?" He asked, astounded at the stuff Jill came up with.  
"Were you even there at the marriage counseling sessions or was that your goody "I'd never cheat on you" twin cuz if it was i'm asking for a divorce and I'm marrying him." She spat.  
"Jill, don't say stupid thing like that and stop yelling you'll wake up the twins. And Tal is already worried enough about you as it is without you making a scene! Please" he asked with pleading eyes.  
"I was so stupid, how could I have believed you. Of course you'd go back to sleeping with that whore"  
Patrick instantly got up and started pacing the floor. "You do not get to call her a whore. You do not get to call my best friend a whore." he said sharply. "And you know perfectly well I never slept with her. Not 8 years ago and certainly not now. How can you accuse us of doing something like that?"  
His wife looked away in disgust and slammed the door behind her. He quickly followed her and grabbed her by the arm.  
"Where are you going?" He asked in a genuinely worried voice. They had always gotten past their fights. It wasn't always easy but they had always made up. Somehow. And never, in any of their fights had Jill walked out.  
"It's none of your business" she answered, tears building up in her eyes. "It's none of your freaking business."


	6. Chapter 6

"Hi honey, how was your day?" Asked Ellen as she let herself fall on the couch "I'm exhausted. Is stella sleeping?"  
"Yeah, she's been in bed for 2 hours now. Jill dropped her off." He said as he put a bottle of wine back in the fridge.  
"That was really nice of her.." She answered, suddenly worried wether Jill had said anything to Chris about the "bath incident"  
"Yeah. She was really upset though..." He looked up at her guilty face and asked "Ellen have you been fucking him? Patrick?"  
_Well okay shit Jill said something. But wow that was straight to the poin_t, Ellen thought.  
"No, of course I'm not! why? Did Jill tell you anything?"  
"Well apparently she walked in on you guys in a bath. And he was touching you. So I think she was entitled to say something! Don't you?" He snorted.  
"I'll sleep in the guest room tonight. I don't feel like arguing." He finished, trying not to break down in front of her. He was the man, he wouldn't let her see him like that. Not after what she had done.  
"Chris. Please. No, that's not.. We were shooting a scene.. It was our break but we were...Practicing" she begged him, not knowing how to explain herself. What she was doing with Paddy was wrong, but they couldn't stop it. Not now.  
"I'm tired Ellen. We'll talk tomorrow" he said as he closed the door behind him and headed towards the guest room.

"God why is she not answering her phone?!" Patrick cursed as he called his wife for the 5th time and ended up once more on her voice mail. He had woken up to find the house empty, the kids probably at school but no note from Jill.  
"I have to leave for work now Jill, did you take the kids to school? Why didn't you leave a note, or wake me up? I'm really worried, please answer, I need to know you're ok"  
He couldn't help but feel guilty knowing that he was the cause of all this trouble.  
_Well Ellen is, with her infectious giggle and her perfect body , it's not my fault, no man in his right mind could resist her._  
He drove off in his Mercedes and saw Ellen's car already parked as he arrived on set.  
"Hey" he said , planting a small kiss on her cheek as he arrived at the the table read.  
"Hi" she answered in a small voice not looking up at him, but keeping her eyes straight on the script that Heidi, a crew member had deposited in front of each actor.  
"What's the matter?" he asked. This wasn't his Ellen. His Ellen would look up at him with a huge grin lighting up her face and tell him about something Stella had done the night before, or just joke about some random stuff her fans had tweeted her.  
"Nothing, I'm fine.."  
"Ellen, what happ-"  
"Ok, Ellen, will you start us off?" Asked Shonda "it's a pretty intense episode so be prepared!" She laughed.  
"Sure" Ellen answered sweetly. She opened her script and started reading the meredith monologue in her sweet yet raspy voice.  
"No one ever thinks it's over. No one ever wakes up one day and think their life is over. We all think we have one more chance. That we didn't completely screw up, or maybe, that somehow, we're forgiven..."  
_Damn Shonda's good with words.._


	7. Chapter 7 it gets better

"Jill left me" he blurted out as they were eating their lunch in the fresh air. Patrick and Ellen had started to eat lunch outside a few years ago, eating inside only in case of bad weather. They both preferred it that way, taking a break from the craziness of the set and it always felt good sitting together on the ground underneath that elm tree. It was their secret spot where they were never bothered by anyone.  
"What?!" Ellen's mouth hung open in shock  
"Well, no, she didn't actually leave me, she just walked out last night not telling me where she went" he answered, fiddling with his fork.  
"Did you ask Tal? Maybe she told her? And did you try and call Jill?"  
"T was gone before I woke up, probably at school and yes I called Jill multiple times but she didn't answer" he looked up at her and saw she was staring at him with worried eyes. He loved her for that. She always put other people's feelings first, even though he could tell something was bothering her.  
"Ellie, what's the matter?" He asked as he put his food back on the tray.  
"Chris.. He.. We fought.. Kinda.. Well not really, I mean, he just asked if we .. If I had cheated on him. Apparently Jill told him about yesterday.." She looked away from him, not wanting to let him see the tears building up in her eyes.  
"Hey, look at me" he said kindly  
"Jill... Jill will be back tonight don't worry" she said, still staring at the ground.  
"I don't care about that. Ellen, please just look at me"  
He gently took her face in his hands and tilted her chin up to face him. Patrick wiped a tear from her left cheek with his thumb and his heart ached as he saw the pain in her green eyes. He took her into his strong arms and held her tight, her head resting on his chest as he gently stroked her hair.  
"Patty.." She cried into his shirt "I'm sorry..and your shirt, I'm crying on your shirt, now it's all wet.." She said trying to pull away  
"Don't be, it's not your fault.." He answered in a reassuring, pulling her even closer "and the last thing I care about right now is my shirt" he said as he kissed the top of her hair. It smelt so good and felt so soft. He let his face rest there for a good five minutes until Ellen pulled out of his arms and wiped her tears.  
"Do you wanna go home?" She asked " we don't have any scenes to shoot until 5. "  
"Jill won't be home, it's no use. And we have a script to learn, I'd rather stay revise with you if you want to"  
"Yeah, that'd be good" she smiled weakly at him, taking out her script from her oversized bag.

"Oh! you're home" Patrick sighed with relief as he saw his wife painting his daughter's nails.  
"Yes" she answered, concentrating on making the nails look perfect. "Here you go honey, they look great, Kyle will never be able to resist you!  
-Thanks mom, but he already likes me! Hey dad, check out my nails! She said excitedly as she waved her finger in front of her father's face  
-They look beautiful sweetheart. Do you mind leaving mommy and I alone for a second?  
-Sure, but please don't fight. Kyle will be here any minute and it's really embarrassing when you guys argue in front of my friends" she answered as she left waving her fingers to air dry them, leaving her parents ashamed.  
"So who's that Kyle kid huh?" Patrick asked, sitting down on the chair next to Jill which was previously occupied by their daughter.  
"A boy from her class, she has a small crush on him. she wants to become his girlfriend"she answered casually, clearing up her makeup table.  
"She's 11! Don't you think that's a little young to date?" He asked, dumbstruck by how calmly she was telling him this.  
"Oh come on patrick, it's nothing. And she's growing up, she's already kissed him you know."  
"Excuse me?! He asked in disbelief, Why am I not aware that my daughter is kissing boys? she's way too young for that, you know it as much as I do! She's still a baby!"  
"No, she's not, and you'd know it if you spent a tiny bit more time with her. T's wanted to tell you since the day it happened but she was afraid of your reaction, and well, you know what? she was right." That was low, but it hit Patrick all the same. He hated not being able to spend time with his children, and racing hadn't made it any easier for him.  
"And when exactly did she kiss that boy?" He asked, calming down but still completely shocked about the news.  
"12 days ago, you would've noticed if you weren't taking baths with your costar, She snapped. And also, "that boy" is called Kyle and is an extremely sweet young man so please try not to kill him the second he sets foot into this house."  
"I'm sorry" he answered softly.  
"What?" She turned back to him. She was expecting him to get mad, not to apologize_. I may have been too hard on him.._  
"I'm sorry. What I did with Ellen in that bath was extremely wrong, so I'm sorry. And you can be sure it won't happen again because Shonda is keeping meredith and Derek away from each other for a while. And even if they make it through it, it won't happen again. And I'm sorry I wasn't here for Talula and Darby and Sullivan because of work and racing. But I love them and I still believe Tal is too young to you think it's ok then I trust you because you're her mom and you know her better than anyone else." His heart broke at he spoke the last sentence. He missed his daughter and it was true he hadn't spent quality time with her in a few weeks...  
"Patrick, thanks. Thanks for apologizing. I'm sorry I walked out on you yesterday, but I needed to be alone for a little bit. And even though what you were doing with Ellen is unforgivable i'll try to move forward. We'll get past it" she answered as she took his hands in hers and stared into his deep blue eyes.  
"Jill, it's really not your fault, you had every right to react as you did. It's-"  
"Patrick, it's ok. I promise. And I wanted to ask you if you'd like to invite her, Chris and Stella over on New Year's eve, to show there's no hard feelings. And Darby seems to really like Stella" she laughed softly.  
"Are you sure?" he tried to hide his excitement; after all, Chris would be there and he really didn't like the man. But the idea of spending New Year's Eve with Ellen was so appealing and he hugged Jill with happiness.  
"Thank you Jill, it's really great of you, I love you" he said.  
"I love you too" she answered as she hugged him tight only to let go as the doorbell rang.  
"That must be Kyle" she said, standing up and giving him a quick kiss "I'll open the door. TALULA YOUR FRIEND KYLE IS HERE!"  
"I'm coming mom!" She answered as she ran down the stairs, excited to see her "future boyfriend"'.


	8. Chapter 8 new year

**Here you go cuz it's friday so that means weekend :) ( and of course you've all worked super duper hard during the week)**

**paddy's bday is coming up so I hope you all have thought of some great gifts ;)**

New Year's Eve

"Talula, go change and come back when you're dressed properly! Jill ordered her daughter as she carefully put the lasagna in the oven. Their housemaid had called in sick at the last minute and she had cooked dinner and done her best to clean the house, something she was not used to doing.

"The Ivery's should be here any minute! And Please turn off that music, I swear it's been on non stop for the last two months!"

"Ughh.. that's their new album "midnight memories" and It's been out for only 3 weeks! I never say anything about your Morrissey or whatever. He's ALWAYS playing."

"Talula, please listen to your mom" Patrick entered the kitchen looking more handsome than ever. His wavy hair was perfectly tamed and his blue eyes were enhanced by his shirt of the same color. He had tight jeans on, showing off his toned legs and only a hint of his stubble left.

"Do you need any help?" He asked Jill. She was wearing a short black dress, and trying desperately not to spill food on it.

"Yeah please! Can you clean this all up while I go check on the boys? Thanks" she answered, quickly walking past him in her high heels.  
Patrick grabbed the sponge and started cleaning the kitchen counter frantically; nothing could make it happier than knowing he was about to spend New Year's Eve with both Ellen and his family. He wouldn't let anyone, not even Chris ruin that.

"I'm coming!" he shouted, throwing the sponge into the sink as he heard the doorbell ring. Patrick dried his hands on the the nearest towel and hurried over to the wooden door. He opened it, his heart beating frantically.

"Hi! Happy New Year's Eve Patty!" Laughed Ellen as she gave him a quick but strong hug. God he looks hot today, that shirt really is made for him.. Ooh and he smells so good, She thought, breathing him in. They hadn't seen each other in a week and they were already missing each other.

"Hi Ellie!" he answered, wanting desperately to linger in her arms but feeling Chris's eyes taking in his every move.

_Her hair is so beautiful, and that dress... Oh shit, it's the one I bought her last year for her birthday. Shit, I haven't told Jill about that. Why would she wear it here, oh crap. And it's so revealing... Not that I mind.._ He chuckled discretely, enjoying the view even though he knew that Jill was not going to like finding out about this old gift.  
_Oh well, let's enjoy it while I can._

"We brought dessert!" Announced Chris, as Stella let go of his hand to hug Patrick's legs.  
"Hello Stella! How are you?" He smiling down to her.  
"I'm great Patty! Mommy and me, we missed you tons!" She answered grinning up at him the same way his mother had just seconds ago.

"Stellaaaaaaaa" Darby and Sullivan ran past their father and the little girl quickly left Patrick to go play with them.  
"Come on in! Dinner will be ready soon."  
_Damn, his butt.. Stop staring... Chris is right here..._  
"I'm sorry, it's lasagna, not very festive.. But Sophia called in sick so it was last minute-"  
"Don't worry old boy, I haven't eaten lasagna in ages. And you know how much I looove italian food" Ellen winked at him as she sat down at the table next to Chris.

"Hi Ellen! Hi Chris! Please don't get up" Jill smiled as the both of them started to get out of their seats to greet her. Jill's eyes rested on Chris longer than necessary, but no one seemed to notice.

"Oh hi Jill! You look beautiful!"  
"You do too, That dress looks... Really great on you" she lied, trying to keep her disapproving look to herself. _The kids are here for god's sake. You don't wear that kind of dress around children!_

"Oh thank you, she smiled, genuinely happy that Jill liked it, or at least pretended to.  
"Patty gave it to me as a birthday gift last year! You're a lucky lady, the man has great taste" she giggled. Leaving Patrick trying to contain his laughter at his wife's expression, and Jill and Chris embarrassed.  
_I can't remember the last time he bought me a dress_, Jill realized as she sat down next to her husband.

**11:55PM**

"Only 5 minutes to go!" Said Talula excitedly to her mother.  
"I love new year!" Giggled Stella to Darby " cuz mommy says you get to kiss who you love, and I love mommy"  
"Yeaah! New year's soo cool" answered Darby as Sullivan came back from the kitchen with a box full of chocolate.  
"10...9...8...hihihihi"giggled talulah as she tugged onto her brother Sullivan's hand  
"7...6...5...4...3..  
"Mommy I don't know how to count backwards! laughed Stella  
"2...1 HAPPY NEW YEAR!" the two families shouted cheerfully  
- Happy new year, whispered Jill into Patrick's ear as he tried to keep his eyes off Ellen  
-Happy new year, he answered, looking back into hers.

She took his face into her hands and kissed him, softly at first but quickly deepened the kiss allowing her tongue to slip into his mouth.

-Jill, he breathed as he pulled away, the kids are right here.  
-that never stopped you before, she answered, trying desperately to hold his gaze as he looked guiltily over to Ellen.

_oh my Ellie, _he thought. He caught her staring at them but she looked away quickly, trying to hide the pain in her eyes.

"Jill, not here." He blushed, feeling suddenly embarrassed.  
"Come." She ordered him, her eyes filled with a strange glow as she stood up, holding his hand.  
"What-where are we going? The kids, Ellen.. Chris we can't just leave them.. " he stammered, trying to find an excuse not to follow her.  
"It'll only take a few minutes... Come on Paddy, let's start 2014 properly."  
She pulled onto his hand and he followed her unwillingly, feeling Ellen's gaze on his back but avoiding it in shame.  
"We'll be right back!" Jill laughed as she closed the door behind them.

**Dont worry i'm not gonna inflict the pain of jilick details on you, i promise it wont last long!**


	9. Chapter 9 NEW YEARS PART 2

**Okayyy so it's paddy's birthday aka the most important day of the year as you all know. that's why i thought the least i could do was to update this fic.**

**Btw i still don't own patrick even after 48 years of him living on this planet. I agree with you, it's quite sad.. I dont own anybody else either, im just a nowhere girl living in her nowhere land making all her nowhere plans for nobody.**

"Will you kiss me?" Asked Sullivan to Ellen "it's New Year!"  
"Aww honey of course!" She answered, momentarily forgetting what had just happened between Jill and Patrick. They're married. He's her husband, of course they're gonna want to have a bit of fun to start the new year.. But Chris had only given her a peck on the lips. Not even a proper kiss, she suddenly realized. _I was to busy looking at patty to even notice..  
This year already sucks. yay me!_  
_Oh wait, little Sul is talking to me. _  
She kissed him on the cheek "here you go Sullivan! happy New year!"  
"Noooo but I want a REAL KISS! Like the one mommy gave to daddy!"  
"Oh! but we can't do that! We have to be in love to kiss like that" she laughed pulling him onto her lap.

"Ellen, I have to go, Steven just called, there's a problem at work, they need me-" chris told her, putting his coat back on.  
"But it's New Year! They can't make you go work!"  
"They can.. But I can drop Stella off at home, since she's already asleep. i'll call the nanny, she'll keep an eye on her before you come home"  
"Sure, yeah.. That's good"  
"Tell Jill and Patrick I'm sorry i had to leave"  
"They -they'll understand"

"Ellie.." Said Sullivan, looking up at her with sad eyes.  
"Oh sorry sulli" she answered  
"you don't love me?" He asked in a small voice  
"Of course i love you sweetheart! It's just... " Ellen tried to ignore Jill's high pitched screams Coming from the master Bedroom.  
"They.. Your mommy and daddy... They love each other very much and in a very special way" she answered, trying to force a smile. Why was this so painful? _I shouldn't be the one to tell him this. Fuck you Jill. And fuck you paddy. You should be the ones telling your kids about this kind of thing instead of fucking and leaving them with me And not even trying ro be discreet. You're both assholes!_

"Where did Chris go?" Patrick asked as he entered the living room, quickly followed by a glowing Jill.  
"He had to leave.. Work.." She answered, not looking up to him. "Sul and Darby went to sleep, and Tal went back to her room"  
"Oh well uh.."  
"i'll go check on them" said Jill, her smile suddenly disappearing as Ellen told them Chris had left.

"How long have you been here alone?" He asked worriedly, as he sat down next to her on the couch.  
"About half an hour" she answered, putting down her magazine.  
"i'm sorry... jill... We.."  
"It's fine" she answered coldly "you're allowed to have a bit of fun,you're married" She said, standing up, tears building up in her eyes.

"Ellen" he grabbed her hand "Ellen... I didn't want.. It wasn't fun..."

"Yeah well it did sound like quite a bit of fun from the sounds you two were making. Why do you think Tal went back to her room? Yeah. It wasn't exactly pleasant for us. And while we're at it maybe you'd like to know that your son wanted to kiss me the way you kissed Jill but I told him we couldn't because you and Jill love each other in a very special way." She answered breathlessly. "So yeah I think I had a tiny bit less fun than you"

He stood up, his face now right above hers and wiped her tears with his fingers, his blue eyes staring into her green ones.

"Ellen. I'm sorry" he breathed as he took her tiny face into his strong hands and pressed his lips gently against hers, tasting a few lost tears.

"We .. Patrick, it's wrong..." She gasped as she pulled away."We can't. Not here, not now. Not.. We just can't" she said as she turned away, grabbed her coat and hurried out the door, leaving Patrick standing in shock. Unable to move.

"Where's Ellen?" Asked Jill as she came back, only to find her husband alone next to the couch.  
"She..she left" he managed to whisper.

**tell me what you think about this chapter ! X have a nice paddy birthday day**


	10. Chapter 10 TRAILER

**sorry i haven't written in a while i was doing a dempeo vid haha ( i still don't own patrick even though you'd think with all this dedication he'd start noticing me but nope nada)**

"Good work everyone! Have a great weekend!"said Shonda as Patrick, JCap and Kevin finished their last scene of the week.  
Patrick hurried to Ellen's trailer, knocking heavily on the metal door, his hands sweating despite the cold winter day. She had been avoiding him all day and hasn't answered any of his phone calls or texts. This was his last chance to talk to her before he left for the weekend and he wasn't going to let it slip.

"It's open, come in!" she answered in her usual sweet voice.

"Ellen.." He said, breathing in the soft smell that followed her everywhere. He looked at her worriedly, his heart pounding in his chest, not knowing what to say.

"Oh.. It's you.." she whispered and she looked down, suddenly feeling ashamed as she saw him staring at her with his dreamy blue eyes, his face tilted in concern.

"Ellen, we need to talk.."  
"I know but.. not now.. Chris and Stella are leaving for Boston in an hour.. I promised I'd meet them at the airport.."  
"I.. The kids, Jill and I.. We're leaving tonight.. For the weekend, we're going skiing.. But I.. need to talk to you first."  
"I should be home around 8PM" she answered, emptying her purse on her bed and looking for her car keys. "Damn it, where are they, I need to leave"

"El, come with us" he asked softly, sitting down on the bed, trying to help her find her keys.  
"What?!" She looked up from her bag in shock and stared at him not believing what he had just said.  
"You seriously think I'm gonna come with you and your perfect little family skiing? And how on earth do you expect me to look at Jill in the eye after what happened?!"

"Ellen! We need to talk about that kiss, we can't just pretend it didn't happen! And.. We'd have lots of time to talk about it there" he begged.  
"Oh your keys! I just found them" he said, dangling them in front of her face, his eyes suddenly lighting up as he got an idea.  
"Oh here they are- Patrick, give them to me.. What are you doing?! I really need to go! otherwise Stella and Chris will be gone before I get to the airport!"  
"You're not getting these keys back unless you say you're coming to ski with us" he grinned playfully

"Patrick, this isn't funny. I can't. Just give me the damn keys!"  
"Promise you're coming"  
"No"  
"Promise Ellie. For your little Patty" he said with puppy eyes, knowing she couldn't refuse him anything when he looked at her that way.  
"Fine." She answered, finally giving in against her will.  
"But you're the one telling Jill I'm coming. And this better not turn out to be the worst weekend of my life" she grunted.

"Great!" He grinned, proud of himself. She usually wasn't so easy to convince._ I must be getting better at this_, he thought.  
"Meet us at the house at 8!"  
She walked quickly to the door but paused right before opening it "Oh, and for your information, I don't know how to ski, Mister know it all"  
"Don't worry about that.. I've been told I'm a very good teacher" he winked.  
"I'll be the judge of that" she answered, closing the door behind her, and leaving Patrick all alone in her trailer.

**the next chap will be the ski trip hehe**


	11. Chapter 11 car trip

**Ok so here it is, no skiing in this update but it'll be in the next one i promise. sorry:(**

"Patrick, this was supposed to be a family weekend! Do you see me asking my friends to join us on a family ski trip?!" Said Jill with an exasperated look on her face.  
"It's Ellen! And she was going to be alone, I didn't think you'd mind.." Patrick answered, suddenly feeling guilty. It was after all a tradition to go skiing the weekend after winter break as a family...  
"Just because I say I forgive you doesn't mean you can just go and INVITE HER ON A FAMILY TRIP.  
"It's only 2 days! And she'll be staying in her own hotel room, it's fine.. I'll make all the talk you don't need to say anything to her if you don't want to. Even though it would be nice if you made an effort, you know she's one of my best friends.." he answered, suddenly stopping as the doorbell rang  
"Oh god that's her. Awesome. I'll make you pay for this Patrick!"  
"I'll go get it.." He answered, heading towards the door.  
"Well I sure as hell am not" she muttered.

"Soooo what's that awesome place we're going Patty?" Ellen asked from the back seat, Darby on her left and Talula on her right. The young girl was playing on her phone, music coming out from her headphones. Sullivan was in the seat in the car trunk with all their luggage.  
"It's not too far, we've been going there for the last 4 years. It's really beautiful you'll love it." Patrick told her, smiling at her in the rearview mirror. His eyes lingered on her delicate features as she started conversing with his daughter. She looked perfect, sitting next to his children, giggling with them..

"Patrick, keep your eyes on the road" snapped Jill, interrupting him in his daze.

"How's Zac?" Asked Ellen with a smile to Talula. The little girl immediately took her eyes off her phone and took off her headphones.

"Zac?"  
"You knoww, da hawty master!" She laughed.  
_Did she just call Zac Efron the hottie master?_ Wondered Jill, _that is such a bad example to give to the kids.._  
"Ohh Zaaaac! Well I don't know, I'm kind of over him..." Tal answered, embarrassed  
"You're over Zac?!" Gasped Ellen in disbelief. "But you loved him so much!"  
"Yeah well... I kindof have this thing for One Direction now.."  
"Ohhh I see girl! Go on, say it, who's your fav?!"  
"I don't know.." Answered a blushing Tal.  
"Hmm I don't believe you" Ellen raised her eyebrow  
"Well.. if you really wanna know, I like Niall... butyoucanttellmybestfriendcuzhessupposedtobehers" she blurted out.  
"Oh don't worry, Ellen laughed, I kinda like that little Irish man myself! Us Irish got to stick together ain't that right Patty?"  
"Oh nothing could separate me from you Ellie, he flirted back, but felt Jill's death stare and kept his eyes straight on the road.

"Have you seen Harry's hair though?" Ellen asked Tal who was obviously enjoying talking about her favorite boy band. "I don't think any girl in their right mind can resist hair like that!"  
"Yeah it's pretty cool, the waves and all... Dad says he has the same but I don't agree I mean, Harry's is so different!"  
"Oh yeah, Patty , Harry's hair is so much better than yours! I'm sorry but i have to agree with your daughter on this" she told him, trying to keep a serious expression.  
"I'm hurt, Ellie! I spend so much time on it!" He laughed "well at least Meredith likes my hair, it's one of the many things that keep her happy if I remember well those wonderful scripts Shonda gives us.."  
"Oh.. Meredith loves your hair.." she giggled.

"Hmm.. I'm glad I can keep at least one girl happy out there, even if she is fictional.." He answered winking at her in the rearview mirror.

"PATRICK KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD DO YOU WANT US TO CRASH?!" shouted Jill. "And please stop talking about your hair, we're supposed to be on break." she snapped, instantly breaking the flirty atmosphere.

"Oh god, please don't start fighting again" begged Tal, putting her headphones back on, and returning to her own little world.

**Hope u liked it :)**


	12. Chapter 12 ski :)

**hellooo i had to rewrite this update three times cuz i kept losing it so ikinda forgot the stuff i wanted to say but I hope it's not too bad...**

**Tell me what u think :)**

"So um how do we do this?" Ellen asked, staring down at the slope beneath her.  
"Well, you can either go straight ahead or zigzag" answered Patrick. "I recommend the first option, you can just close your eyes, it's fun and it goes faster" he joked, noticing her anxious face.  
"Haha very funny" she answered, trying to remain calm but internally freaking out.  
"Guys, I think you should go ahead, I need to teach Ellie the basics.. We'll meet you in an hour at the bottom?"  
"Sure dad"  
"Yep"  
"Ok daddy!"  
"See you there my snowman" answered Jill, quickly following her children.

"How am I supposed to umm not fall?"  
"I have a feeling this is gonna be fun" he winked at her.  
"Just teach me how to ski Patrick! Ugh I f*cking lost my-"  
"I can teach you allright..." He whispered in her ear, interrupting her midsentence. His warm breath tickled her skin, causing her to shiver. Ellen gasped as she felt his body press up against her back and his head rest on her shoulder. He breathed in her smell and pressed his lips against her neck. He suddenly stopped moving and closed his eyes to fully enjoy the moment.

"Patrick.. What.." She stammered.  
_I'm shivering because I'm freezing. Why would anyone come out here for fun?! It's so cold! And he's freezing too, that's why he's so close to me. We're like penguins. We're keeping each other warm. No one blames a penguin for being pressed up to another penguin's husband! It's just self protection against the cold or something!_  
"The view's beautiful" she blurted, staring straight ahead, not daring look into his blue eyes barely inches away from her green ones.  
"Mmmm..." He managed to answer, his lips still pressed against her skin.

"So seriously, how do I get down this slope without killing myself in the process? Unless you wanna stay here all day of course and not move an inch." She giggled nervously.

_Please choose the second option... Please choose the second option..._

_Can I choose the second option? She smells so good.. Oh, I wish we could stay here all day.._

"Right.. well.. Just make sure your skis never touch each other, keep them parallel. Yes like that, its perfect" he explained, wrapping his arm around her from behind and taking her hands into his.  
"And then you use those sticks to keep your balance ok? Try to keep them in front of you" Patrick said as he showed her the movement by lifting her hands and placing them in front.  
"Just squeeze my hand really tight, and we'll zigzag slowly together. And don't worry, that cute little helmet is gonna protect that gorgeous head of yours" he laughed.  
"Oh shut up asshole! It's the only color they had left... I didn't ASK for the pink one" she pouted.  
"You look beautiful" he whispered, kissing her cheek before slowly sliding down the hill, Ellen tugging onto his hand at his side.  
"You're doing great!" He shouted flashing her a huge grin.  
"Yeah right, Mr I-was-winning-ski-championships-when-I-12-years-old" she laughed, squeezing his hand. Not out of fear, but because she could. For once she had an excuse to hold his hand and it felt damn good not to be worried about what people might think.

"How do you like skiing?" Asked Ellen to the little boy sitting across from her. They were both trying to warm up next to the restaurant's fireplace. The others had already left to hit the slopes but Darby was a rather slow eater and Ellen had offered to stay with him until he was done.

"It's good.." He answered chewing down on his meat with his little mouth.  
"Only good? You seemed to be having lots of fun earlier!" She smiled at him. He looked so much like his father; his nose, his cheeks, the twinkle in his eye whenever he laughed..

"I'm a bit scared... But Sully says it's stupid to be scared cuz I won't hurt me but.."  
"Oh.. But it's okay to be scared Darby, everybody's scared at some point!" She reassured him, pulling him onto her lap and hugging him tight as she realized he was on the verge of tears.

"In fact I'm super duper scared that's why I ask your daddy to ski with me!" She smiled at him, stroking his hair back and off his face.  
"But Sullivan's not scared.. and mommy will laugh at me if I tell her.."  
"Your mom wouldn't laugh at you! But you can ask your daddy to ski with you, he'd be so happy to help you out!" She reassured him with a smile.  
"But he's helping you.. And I'd still be scared.."  
"Oh but I can manage, don't worry about me kiddo. And you know" she told him, turning him around so his tiny face looked straight up at her,

"when you're skiing with your daddy, you feel safe. It's like nothing bad could ever happen to you.. He holds you in his strong arms and he's got these superpowers that keep you completely safe. He's really special your dad, and he loves you so much. There's nothing that could make him happier than to ski with his little boy."  
"You sure Ellie?" He asked with worried eyes.  
"I'm sure, she hugged him tight, let's go find him?  
"Yep" he answered, back on his feet, ready to go find his new superhero dad.

**hope you liked it :) reviews are more than welcome ;)** **enjoy your day**


	13. Chapter 13 ouch

**Hii sorry it's been awhile, but if you're still interested, I wrote an update :)**

**Real life Patrick was skiing with his family this weekend, lets just pretend ellen was there too ;) **

"OWWW!... PATTY! F***!..." Ellen cried as she crashed onto the ground.

"Oh crap! Ellie!.. Darby, just stay here. I have to go see if she's okay. Wait for your mom allright? She'll be here in 5 minutes."

"Ellen, are you okay?" He asked, worriedly, arriving next to her and seeing her face pale with shock.

"I.. I.. I'm fine..." She tried to move. "Damn it! Oww.. My leg.. I.. I think I broke it.."

"Oh crap, are you feeling allright? I'll call an ambulance, it'll be ok, you'll be fine" he told her, taking his skis off and sitting next to her in the snow.

"I'm so sorry.." She cried "I ruined your weekend, I shouldn't have come.. Jill's gonna hate me even more now.."

"Hey,hey, it's fine, don't worry... It's not your fault" he said, holding her hands in his strong ones and kissing her softly on her forehead. "It's not your fault... Though, when I said "break a leg" earlier, I didn't actually ask you to literally break it" he laughed.

"Oh shut up asshole, I'm in actual pain here" she nudged him with her elbow, her face instantly brightening up. He always knew how to make her laugh, even in the worst situations. Chris merely tried to comfort her, he didn't know how to make light of difficult moments. Patrick had struggled in life for many years before he landed onto Shonda's show and he had learned to find the positive side of every struggle...

oooooo

"Good news! You've only got a small fracture in your tibia, it'll heal in no time! We'll keep you here for the night, just to make sure your leg starts its healing process properly. You should be good to go tomorrow morning!" The doctor grinned, showing Ellen the x-rays.

"Oh thank god, you're okay" Patrick smiled at her, from the chair at the right side of her bed.

"That's such great news doc! You can go home Patty now, Jill will start to wonder where you are." She told him with a wink.

"Are you kidding? I'm not going to leave you alone in this hospital that smells like a.. Like a .. hospital!.. No offense doctor" he said turning back to the radiologist, and flashing him a grand smile.

"None taken, I'll leave you two, I'll be right there if you need anything!" He answered, pointing towards the hall.

"Wow that was such an amazing comparison, Doctor mcDreamy.. A hospital that smells like a hospital.. It's funny how you of all people should mind the smell, considering the fact that you work in one, repairing people's brains.."

"At least, where I come from, we have elevators that let you forget the smell.." He breathed, taking her right hand in his.

"Oh, and how is that?.." She asked him, lifting her eyebrow and sitting up so that her face was only slightly lower than his.

"Well... You do things.. In these elevators.. Things you wouldn't want your kids to know about.."

"Explain Patrick. I'm not going anywhere, with my leg and all, you have all the time you need to tell me about these naughty things you people do in these elevators" she bit back a giggle, noticing how red he was suddenly turning.

"I.. Uh.." He said, trying to ignore the bulge in his pants. "We.. Stuff.. Stuff that make you.. Um sweat, so um you create your own odor, you can't really smell the hospital smell anymore so it's.."

Ellen watched him ramble but his embarrassment was too adorable for her to handle and she let a giggle out, quickly bringing her hands up to her mouth to conceal it.

"You're laughing at me?!" He gasped, pretending to be hurt.

"I'm not" she burst out laughing.

"You're a mean girl, Ellen Kathleen Pompeo, you're a mean little person" he pouted.

"I should call Jill, tell her I'm staying here with you for the night ok?" He told her once she had stopped laughing.

"Oh Patrick, it's ok. You should spend this weekend with your kids.. And Jill.. She'll be so pissed at us otherwise.."

"She's not stupid, she knows you didn't break your leg on purpose, she'll get it. She's not a monster."

Oooo

"Crap, She has to go to Boston for work.. It's Avon, they just called her, apparently they got the dates for that Glamour event mixed up, I'm gonna need to bring the kids here." He told her, tensely ruffling his hair.

"You're not bringing the kids here! are you crazy?" She scowled at him. "I'll stay here, you go home and tomorrow you'll come pick me up!"

"No way, you're not staying in a hospital alone thats just plain depressing, I'll ask the doctor if I can bring you home tonight, after all it's just a fracture, I'm a doctor and I can tell that's nothing."

"You're not a doctor"

"Whatever, at least I watch the show, you can learn stuff you know, by actually watching it." He told her, playfully.

"C'mon don't pretend like you watch the actual medical parts of the show, you just like the making out parts" she laughed.

"That is not true El" he said walking out the door to go find the doctor.

"I only like our making out scenes" he added in a whisper.

oooo

"You're leaving against medical advice, but if you really want to go you need to sign here. And if anything is wrong call us right away, okay?"

"Of course, thank you doctor" Patrick said, helping Ellen out of the bed and in her wheelchair. "Let's go home now, shall we, miss damsel in distress?"

"I've been dreaming of a true love's kiss.." She half-sang/half-giggled.

"Oh please not that song, I've heard it way too many times, Tal used to sing it all the time, and.."

"And what?" She asked curiously.

"Jill and I.. we used to.. I pretended to be Robert and she was Giselle, we.. Um.. It was more than kissing.."

"Oh..." Her smiled quickly fading.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have.. That was too much info." He cursed silently at himself for having shared that part of his life with Ellen, he knew how painful it was for her. It had been so hard for him to accept that she had married Chris a few years ago, he never wanted her to feel that much pain.

"No. I.. I asked.. I'm sorry.. A little married fun never hurt nobody!" She forced a laugh but Patrick didn't join in and they left the hospital in silence.

**here ya go ! Reviews make me happy btw**


	14. Chapter 14 crillian :)

**Disclaimer: i wrote this chapter while on meds in the middle of the night because of a painful teeth extraction so please forgive the things i wrote.  
( i now walk away to hide in the amazonian forest and decline all ownership to anything)**

**Well. Im too poor to buy myself a plane ticket to amazonia so yeah. Im still here. Updating**

"Oh Jill, thank god you made it! Kate hudson is waiting for you in the makeup room over there, she has to be on the red carpet in an hour. Mark has prepped the other girls but she's the main attraction here so we left her for you. she's the only one left. Oh, and the theme is "The Great Gatsby" so try to adjust her makeup please! Call me when you're done, and i'll take Kate from there." Sophia, the assistant, blurted out in one breath before running back to the main room to check on the other models.

The evening went well, with frenzy behind the scenes and last minute dress troubles, but somehow they managed to make everything look perfectly organized to the eyes of the guests. Jill went back alone to the empty makeup room, and called a cab to bring her to a hotel where she would be able to finally take a moment to clear her head,  
It wasn't just any hotel, it was the one she and Patrick had stayed at a couple of years ago, when they'd first met and he wasn't so famous. Kate had told her about the poshest hotel in Boston, and even though on any other night she would have enjoyed the luxury of it all, tonight she needed some peace and it seemed like the perfect choice.

She just needed to be alone.

Jill lay on her bed for hours, staring at the ceiling above her, taking in all the cracks. This place wasn't half as comfortable as she'd remembered. Or maybe she'd grown accustomed to a luxurious lifestyle. When she'd come here with Patrick, she hadn't paid attention to the cold air coming from the window or the way the bed creaked every time she dared to move. She hadn't noticed how grey and dark the poorly lighted room was. She hadn't realized any of these little details because she was there with her soon-to-be fiancé and they were happy.

Except that right now she was alone, and as much as she thought that was what she needed, it wasn't. She needed someone. That's all she knew. She called Patrick thinking the familiar sound of his voice might appease her, but he didn't answer and she gave up after 3 failed attempts.

"Who freaking lives in this city anyway?" She mumbled, trying to figure out if there was anyone she could visit at this late hour of the night, but all her friends lived in Malibu or Los Angeles. She remembered Ellen had mentionned something about Chris going to Boston with Stella, and that was the reason she had joined them alone on the ski trip.

He picked up on the third ring and directly invited her over. He was staying at an apartment he had bought a few years ago, small for hollywood standards but in the North End of Boston, one of the best neighborhoods.

"I'm sorry to bother you so late.. I always seem to show up at unreasonable hours..." She apologized, as he opened the door and led her to the living room.

"Ah no worries, Stella's in bed. I haven't seen you in a while!" They talked for a few hours about music and actors and the upcoming oscars but eventually ended up on the unavoidable subject : their spouses.

"Ellen seemed ok, a fractured ankle but Patrick will to take care of her don't worry.." She forced a smile and started fiddling with her glass.

"I'm sure she'll be fine, she's a tough little thing." he told her putting down his glass of wine onto the low table and stroking her hair the way he'd seen Patrick do to his wife way too often. "Are you though?" He asked, concern in his voice.

"What?" She answered weakly.

"You don't seem fine.."

"It's just, I can't trust him anymore, I don't know, I know he'd never cheat on me, but what if he has? I'm just not sure I trust him and i have no right not to, he's never done anything wrong but.. I'm sorry. You can't understand, you and Ellen you're great together i'm sorry.." She cried.

"I do, i do know.." He raised her face with his hands and looked into her eyes shining with tears. "I understand." And then quickly, impulsively, he kissed her. She tried to resist at first but the second she closed her eyes she lost all will to stop the kiss and just gave in to his strong arms.

"Patrick fucks ellen" she convinced herself as she took off his shirt.

"Stella.." She breathed.

"She's sleeping.." Her told her, but still took her in his arms and carried her to his room where she dropped her on his bed.

"Better?"

"Better."

**hope u didnt die grossed out or smthh :/**


	15. Chapter 15 dempeo cuties

**Disclaimer: i am now the proud owner of the medical book "gray's anatomy". I unfortunately found out that it gave me no right whatsoever over the show named after it.  
**

**pS : i dont even own the book, i just thought it might make a nice disclaimer. Lol at me.**

"So, is that your room?" Patrick laughed, entering her room and seeing the pile of clothes on the floor.

"Yep. I can walk to my bed you know, I'm fine. You go."

"Na, the kids are all sleeping, I can hang around here for awhile." He told her, picking her up from her wheelchair and carrying her all the way to her bed, ignoring her wiggles and attempts at getting back to her feet.

"You can't get away from me" he joked, gently letting her down onto the bed, arranging the pillows and taking her shoes off before putting her under the covers.

"I'm not completely disabled you know, I've only got a fractured shin!"

"Enjoy, don't complain" he winked before throwing his shoes to the side and dropping himself next to her on the king sized bed.

"So... I guess we should talk now, I mean I did come here so we could talk about you know.. And we tried to avoid it and now I broke my foot because he big G.O.D was pissed so i'm stuck to a bed and I can't get away so we should.  
Talk, I mean."

"God you and meredith really do have rambling in common" he laughed.

"Patrick, seriously"

"I know.. But I don't really know what you expect me to say.. Because I don't want to lie to you so I can't tell you that I regret kissing you. I don't and I don't think I'd take that kiss back if i could." He admitted. "it's a fond memory I'd like to hold on to." He added in a whisper.

She swatted him on the arm. "Don't quote the show to me, Mr McDreamy. And this is serious. You can't just kiss me and say you liked it! It's not fair to me, and it's not fair to Jill. And it's even less fair to the kids. We've been over this a thousand times and we don't even live in the same trailer anymore so technically it should be easy. We shouldn't be.. We shouldn't feel.." She said angrily , sitting up and turning her head to look at him.

"I don't love Jill anymore." He interrupted her, still staring at the ceiling. "I love her as my kids' mom but i don't love her as.. Her.." There was no answer and he looked up at the petite woman next to him and noticed her eyes were filled with tears.

"Hey, don't cry!" He placed her head on his shoulder and squeezed hers.

"It's just I feel the same.. I don't understand.. He's always been there for me, he's amazing but.." Her voice broke.

"You just don't feel the same anymore.." He finished her sentence.

"Yeah exactly.. I'm horrible" she sobbed.

"No.. It's not your fault." He tried to comfort her, feeling his voice shake.

"But how could I do this to him, fall in love with another man." Patrick's heart suddenly stopped and he couldn't help but grin. He knew she was talking about him.  
He had always known he loved her and that his feelings towards Jill weren't nearly as strong as they once were. Nothing compared to the rush he felt everytime Ellen's name came to his mind and though he knew she loved him too, hearing her say it made it all real. And it felt damn good.  
He moved and sat facing her. They stared at each other for a few seconds and after taking a deep breath he finally said it.

"I love you Ellen." He breathed, smiling the way Derek had smiled when he had chose Meredith and told her about it in her kitchen_ "I've been in love with you forever._" Patrick never thought he'd get to say it. Derek was fictional he deserved his happy ending but what if reality was ready to let Patrick be with the love of his life?

"I love you too Patrick" she whispered as his strong arms pulled her into his muscular chest.  
They stayed like this for several minutes, enjoying each other's presence. Ellen finally broke the silence to add with a soft smile "Don't let this get to your head though, Mr Ego." and she hugged him tight.

**I know , i know, its way too easy, if life were that simple dempeo would be together since season 1 or whatever (or not btw if they're not in love in real Life. I wouldnt know, ive never even meet them) **

**but the fact that they said they loved each other doesnt mean theyre gonna tell everyone ya know? Im just a sucker for these two i cant bear to see them sad. btw if you don't like my story cuz u think its too simple (or even if you like it) you should read Sliding Doors GAfanfic/topic/153743/1/ cuz its the best dempeo fic you'll ever read :) (most of u probably already have read it so ya know what im talking about) plz dont get totally enthralled in SD and forget to review mine tho ^^ thanks, ill try to update soon :)**

**smooches x**


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